Big Changes

Things change. Life never stops moving. Surprises happen. Here's why I haven't blogged in a while....

Jordan and I knew we wanted to move back to Illinois (St.Elmo) as soon as he got out in January. Our plan was for me to quit my job and come home in December with Ollie and then wait on Jordan. Well things happened sooner than planned.

Two weeks ago I was so sad seeing all of my teacher homies and former students going back to school and posting pics and prepping their new outfits and school supplies and classrooms. I was jealous. I started thinking about how much I hated my job and how I needed to focus on the fact that one day I WOULD teach again. To humor myself, I contacted the Family and Consumer Sciences teacher at St.Elmo. I asked her how I could get started to sub when I move etc. She lead me to the ROE office. The wonderful lady at the ROE office gave me the information and then said, " It's really too bad you aren't moving home sooner, the Dieterich FCS teacher just resigned this morning" Hmm. I figured, I have to apply, if only to know that I had done everything in my power to teach. Two days later I send in my resume. Last Wednesday I flew to Illinois. Thursday was my interview. Friday I was offered and accepted the job. It's truly a teacher's fairy tale. I promised I would write about how I packed 2-3 weeks worth of clothes into a carry on and backpack. So here it is:

First, I watched this video.

The trick is this: layering. Bottom layer is shoes. Shoes are stuffed completely with socks, undies, camis, bras, whatever you can stuff in them. Next you do pants: butt side in the suitcase, knee down outside of the suitcase. You layer pants, dresses and shirts this way layer by layer, opposing the suitcase sides. When they are all layered, then you start folding the hang out part back into the suitcase. It will be tempting to take the whole right pile and flop it in then the left pile and flop it in. Don't. Layer each piece back in, taking turns, tucking them in like a bed. It will zip, I promise. Here is everything I packed into my carry on:

In my backpack, I packed my purse, laptop, phone and laptop chargers, makeup bag, 3 baggies of toiletries (medicine, toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, contacts, contact solution, razor, deodorant, glasses case, lotion etc.), 2 binders, a book, 2 sticks of jerky, 2 granola bars and some more crap I can't remember. The point is: I made my two little bags count!

Here is a pic of my carry on, I could have packed even more if I wanted to:

And that is my packing adventure! 

When I was suffering away at the library, I kept a list of strange patrons, things that happened and weird names to make a blog about when I quit, so here is that treasure trove.

1. the lady who asked where the Atlanta zoo is

2. the lady who cried because she wanted to be my mother in law

3. the man who said his phone number was both old and new

4. the lady with the bug glasses who butted in line and said "if you only knew how much money I have"

5. The man who hung himself in the bathroom (this was really horrible, he was a regular customer and this shook us up quite a bit)

6. The 1,000,000 customers who ask for the tag office

7. The customers who swear their card was expired a few months ago, too

8. My co worker who asked a mentally disable person if she was deaf, asked the lesbian if she was a gay man, asked countless young women if "they hair was a weave"

9. The ridiculous urban fiction titles (The Millionaire's Baby, Cartier Cartel, God Ain't Done, Good Man Ain't Nowhere, Top Bitch)

10. The highest fines we have encountered (My highest encounter was $675)

11. The patrons who refuse to pay their fines because "no one told me about late fees"

12. The mother's day balloon woman who had 3 accounts, all of them created by "demons" and "ghosts" tryin to keep her down! One of the addresses was in a penitentiary that she said the demons resigned at. 

13. The patron who yelled at me because "no one will help her, her kids are tearing things off the wall and she wanted THAT book, we cant find it so we are an unorganized place and she is never coming back" then walked out the door with dvds in the cases.

14. The horrible man who called us stupid, demanded a separate receipt for each of his 20-30 books both checking in and checking out. Did I mention he carries a beating stick?

15. My co worker who told people that she did investigative work on me and I had gotten fired from my old job for "spreading lies and texting bosses". I never got to ask her how Fashion Bug was doing? Since they closed last year...

16. I would tell many more hilarious co worker stories but it's not entirely professional and you all would think I was making them up, that's how much crazy was crammed into them.

Patron Names

Princess

SirWilliam SirMichael

Ro'Nautica

Molly Cottle

Cherish

Shimmer

Puddin'

Iadonnasanova

Makepeace

These things may not make sense to you, but to other librarians or library friends, try not to wet yourselves. You know the truth behind these horrors. 

And last but not least, a glimpse of lovely Southern Illinois...